DARKNESS. The absence of light. Is that it?
The man fumbles through the door, tapping with his white stick as he goes. The door closes behind him. There are no windows. No light switches. Not that he can see. He moves forward slowly. His white stick knocks something in front of him. He carefully feels with his outstretched hand. An old armchair, made of leather, high backed for comfortable support. Slowly the man feels his way around to the front of the chair and sits.
SILENCE. The absence of sound. Really?
There is not a single noise. Everything is completely still. All that can be heard, if your hearing is exceptional, is the slow and steady breathing of the man. He waits. Still and silent. Bathed in darkness and silence, if there is such a thing. For this man, the darkness is thick and palpable, but he has never known anything else. He has never seen light. He wouldn’t know what it looks like.
TIME. Time passes by at exactly the same pace as it has always done. But for the observer, watching the dark room and the silence, it feels like hours or days. Maybe it is. Hours or days.
Until in one moment. The only moment the man has. He clears his throat and sings. His voice is rich and deep. Not pitch perfect, but without hesitation or falter. His voice ebbs and flows, rises and falls. Sometimes it is barely a whisper and then it reverberates around the room. There are no words, just his voice. Words would spoil the moment. They always do.
Time. An illusion in the darkness. Time stands still. The man pauses. Smiles – not that you can see it in the darkness. Tears trickle down his cheeks. He breathes and then softly hums the tune of a lullaby. As the dulcet sound slips out of his mouth, the man senses an intruder. A pinprick of light, not external to the man, but from deep within. The light flickers and then becomes a still pinprick emerging on his chest. It is the sharpest pinprick you will ever see. Except you can’t because the darkness continues to smother the light.
Imperceptible Light. As the pinprick brightens, the shaft of light begins to dance, deep inside the man. As the dance of light grows, the man begins to laugh. He might not be able to see, but he knows there is Light. And Life. And Love.
“Darkness is a place of unknowing where I’m out of control, where I may be vulnerable to danger, but I may also be vulnerable to divine revelation.” The great liminal space we are thrust into is dark and vulnerable, but it’s also an invitation to transformation IF we don’t rush past our discomfort.
We have been conditioned to be afraid of Darkness, especially in the Western World where, for most of us, we never truly experience complete physical darkness. But we know the psychological darkness that threatens us, lurking in the chaos of the world in which we live now. Too often we find ourselves in the darkness of unknowing, of being out of control and vulnerable to danger. We struggle to appreciate that the darkness, whatever shape or form it takes can make us vulnerable to divine revelation.
Those who have learned to look in the mirror and refuse to turn away, know enough about themselves that they long to change, to be a different version of themselves, to become the best they can be. But the Road Less Travelled that leads to genuine transformation takes them through the darkness of their own pain and the suffering that the world throws at us. Then we need to the courage to walk right through the middle of our pain, and stay there for a while. Until that moment when The Light penetrates the darkness revealing a place of encounter, of discomfort and transformation. For the comfortable, which is most of us, that is a step too far.
At least, not for me. Today. On another day, maybe so. But in this moment, the only one I have, I don’t like discomfort, but I don’t want comfort.
The Papa Journey 